Empathy is an attitude that defines humanity and according to the Wikipedia, it was define as the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing from within the other being's frame of reference, i.e., the capacity to place oneself in another's position. Empathy is seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another and feelings with the heart of another.
“Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.”
― Steve Martin
The awareness of the feelings and emotions of other people is an attitude called empathy, the key element of Emotional Intelligence. It acts by link others to self and enable the experience to feel what others are feeling as if we were the one feeling it. When we experience and understand another person’s condition or/and situation from their mindset which may be by placing ourselves in their shoes and feel what they are feeling, we are in the realm of empathy. The act that increase prosocial [behaviour which is positive, helpful, and intended to promote social acceptance and friendship] attitude.
“I call it religious who understands the suffering of others.” ―Mahatma Gandhi
Knowing this, we should be aware that empathy is distinct from sympathy [empathic concern], pity, and compassion. Sympathy is the feeling of compassion or concern for another, the wish to see them better off or happier. Pity is feeling that another is in trouble and in need of help as they cannot fix their problems themselves, often described as "feeling sorry" for someone. Compassion is sympathetic pity and concern for the suffering or misfortune of others. Empathy, as the ability to sense other people’s emotions, coupled with the ability to imagine what someone else might be thinking or feeling, is primary and different to these emotional references.
“Empathy is the essential building block for compassion. we have to sense what another person is going through, what they are feeling, in other to spark compassion in us.” ―Daniel Goleman
Empathy should not be confused with pity, sympathy and compassion. These feelings are secondary and cannot be felt without empathy first taking place. This is the main reason the sociopath [A person with a personality disorder manifesting itself in extreme antisocial attitudes and behaviour], whose emotional setup lacks a sense of empathy, are also deficient in sympathy pity, and compassion. These emotions [sympathy pity, and compassion] grow in the soil of empathy.
Types of Empathy
We have two basic types of Empathy and these are Cognitive and Emotional empathy.
The first type "Cognitive Empathy," sometimes called “perspective taking,” is the ability to recognise other peoples’ emotions, this involves knowing how the other person is feeling and what they might be thinking, and without respond with our own feelings on it. These include conscious and unconscious signals we receive from other people. Hence, cognitive empathy is primarily about understanding the emotions of others. Sometimes this type of empathy can help in, say, a negotiation or in motivating people.
“Empathy is when a person accurately communicates that they see another's intentions and emotional state. It means watching our child's frustration and focusing on how life feels in that little child's body, while putting our own anger and agenda into the background.”
―Andrea Nair
The second type is "Emotional Empathy", a contrast to cognitive empathy, where the person only perceives and understands. Emotional Empathy produces a similar reaction in the perceiver. It means I do not just perceive the feelings of the other person, but I feel what the other person feels. This explains the well-known term "compassion". Just one example which most likely everyone has already experienced is that we see a person crying. We also know why the person is crying and all of a sudden we have to cry with them.
Reasons to practice Empathy
Empathy is the most important skill we need to practice. It can lead us to a greater success personally and professionally and will allow us to become happier the more we practice it.
The building block of morality is an empathy and it helps us a lot to abide with the golden rule [Do to others as you would have them do to you.]. If we can put ourselves in someone else’s shoe, it helps us to treat them better and it is as simple as that.
Empathy is essential to effective leadership. It endows the so call leader to relate effectively with his/her people. This skills allow leaders to understand other peoples’ perspectives and opinions better, thus making the work environment more enjoyable and productive. Empathy ensures that connections occur between people so that everybody is included and no employee or follower feels left out, and as such, an emphatic leader is perceived as an effective leader.
Empathy is also one of the core attitudes of successful relationship and good friendships. It spawns connections between people, bringing them together and helping to forge friendships and love. This is so because empathy helps us understand the viewpoints, needs, and intentions of others. It makes us feel as if someone cares for us on the other hand; without it, we would likely feel vulnerable and lonely.
“If bullies actually believe that somebody loves them and believes in them, they will love themselves, they will become better people, and many will even become saviours to the bullied.”
― Dan Pearce
Without empathy, your loved ones won’t feel understood, respected, cared for, or ultimately loved, so try, and start practicing today. If you don’t understand, it’s fine to say so and ask your partner or friend to try to express how they feel.
Benefits of Empathy
Failure to understand other people can lead to much suffering and negativity. Those of us that are empathetic will have a far more positive view of humanity and will be privileged to be in others peoples’ shoe and feel what they are feeling. However, the value of empathy comes not from understanding the other person's feelings, but what we do as a result of this. The more we can empathize, the more we can get immediate feedback on what they [others] are experience. And as a consequence, we can change the way we treat, handle and care for them to enable them to feel what we want them to feel.
A good thing to humanity is an empathy and there are numbers of study that shows its benefits. Being able to put ourselves in other’s shoe and to realise that they are just like us has far reaching benefits for both our emotional and physical wellbeing. Here we will mention a few of what empathy can do that is of benefit to us.
One of the benefit we derived from empathy is happiness. When we become empathetic, we will become happier because our reasoning, conversation, and actions that powered us will be more positive. The more we heal others, the more we heal ourselves. The more positive power we sow in others the more positive power we will receive and this positivity we turn the happiness in us on. This is the major reason the givers [why people who give to others] are the happiest people on earth. As we help each other we develop our own power to heal within and with that comes inner strength. This is the truth about life.
Another things that empathy does is trust building. Yes, empathy builds trust. Empathy displayed can be surprising and confusing. When not expected, it can initially cause suspicion; but when sustained, it is difficult not to appreciate the concern. Empathy thus quickly leads to trust. The more we empathize with the other party, the safer we feel on both side.
“When I get ready to talk to people, I spend two thirds of the time thinking what they want to hear and one third thinking about what I want to say.”
― Abraham Lincoln
Through empathy, we understand each other’s experiences and are more prone to help each other. It opens up the channels for good communication which is essential to forming and maintaining mutual support, a major factor of close bonding. The human ability to relate to another person’s feelings and to even act on it is what brings us together, spreads humanity and makes our world a much nicer place to live.
“I believe empathy is the most essential quality of civilization.”
― Roger Ebert
When we are talking about bring two or more people together, in a realm of being there for one another, empathy is an active agent. Yes, empathy connects people together. When we empathize with others, our sense of identity is connected to theirs. And as a result, we feel greater in some way and less alone. We may also start to empathize more with them. This feeling will develop a successful collaboration that will be of a formidable height. Without empathy, collaboration in any realms of life will just be a collection of people arguing their point of view.
Empathy in action may sustain cooperation in social dilemmas. As we know, Cooperation in social dilemmas is often challenged by negative noise, or unintended errors, such that the actual behaviour is less cooperative than intended. Our ability to offer empathy can allow us to stay vulnerable, defuse potential violence, help us hear the word 'no' without taking it as a rejection, revive lifeless conversation, and even hear the feelings and needs expressed through silence.
“Only by examining our personal biases can we truly grow as artists; only by cultivating empathy can we truly grow as people.”
― Jen Knox
We thus conclude that empathy has broad benefits for social interaction, in that it can be an effective tool for coping with misinterpreted behaviors, thereby maintaining or enhancing cooperation.
How to practice Empathy
We are all designed to naturally empathize with others at least to a certain extent. Our brains are wired to experience the emotions that someone else is feeling and this is the reason we wince when someone hits their hand with a hammer, or why we are more likely to laugh if someone else is laughing too.
“Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.”
― Steve Martin
The awareness of the feelings and emotions of other people is an attitude called empathy, the key element of Emotional Intelligence. It acts by link others to self and enable the experience to feel what others are feeling as if we were the one feeling it. When we experience and understand another person’s condition or/and situation from their mindset which may be by placing ourselves in their shoes and feel what they are feeling, we are in the realm of empathy. The act that increase prosocial [behaviour which is positive, helpful, and intended to promote social acceptance and friendship] attitude.
“I call it religious who understands the suffering of others.” ―Mahatma Gandhi
Knowing this, we should be aware that empathy is distinct from sympathy [empathic concern], pity, and compassion. Sympathy is the feeling of compassion or concern for another, the wish to see them better off or happier. Pity is feeling that another is in trouble and in need of help as they cannot fix their problems themselves, often described as "feeling sorry" for someone. Compassion is sympathetic pity and concern for the suffering or misfortune of others. Empathy, as the ability to sense other people’s emotions, coupled with the ability to imagine what someone else might be thinking or feeling, is primary and different to these emotional references.
“Empathy is the essential building block for compassion. we have to sense what another person is going through, what they are feeling, in other to spark compassion in us.” ―Daniel Goleman
Empathy should not be confused with pity, sympathy and compassion. These feelings are secondary and cannot be felt without empathy first taking place. This is the main reason the sociopath [A person with a personality disorder manifesting itself in extreme antisocial attitudes and behaviour], whose emotional setup lacks a sense of empathy, are also deficient in sympathy pity, and compassion. These emotions [sympathy pity, and compassion] grow in the soil of empathy.
Types of Empathy
We have two basic types of Empathy and these are Cognitive and Emotional empathy.
The first type "Cognitive Empathy," sometimes called “perspective taking,” is the ability to recognise other peoples’ emotions, this involves knowing how the other person is feeling and what they might be thinking, and without respond with our own feelings on it. These include conscious and unconscious signals we receive from other people. Hence, cognitive empathy is primarily about understanding the emotions of others. Sometimes this type of empathy can help in, say, a negotiation or in motivating people.
“Empathy is when a person accurately communicates that they see another's intentions and emotional state. It means watching our child's frustration and focusing on how life feels in that little child's body, while putting our own anger and agenda into the background.”
―Andrea Nair
The second type is "Emotional Empathy", a contrast to cognitive empathy, where the person only perceives and understands. Emotional Empathy produces a similar reaction in the perceiver. It means I do not just perceive the feelings of the other person, but I feel what the other person feels. This explains the well-known term "compassion". Just one example which most likely everyone has already experienced is that we see a person crying. We also know why the person is crying and all of a sudden we have to cry with them.
Reasons to practice Empathy
Empathy is the most important skill we need to practice. It can lead us to a greater success personally and professionally and will allow us to become happier the more we practice it.
The building block of morality is an empathy and it helps us a lot to abide with the golden rule [Do to others as you would have them do to you.]. If we can put ourselves in someone else’s shoe, it helps us to treat them better and it is as simple as that.
Empathy is essential to effective leadership. It endows the so call leader to relate effectively with his/her people. This skills allow leaders to understand other peoples’ perspectives and opinions better, thus making the work environment more enjoyable and productive. Empathy ensures that connections occur between people so that everybody is included and no employee or follower feels left out, and as such, an emphatic leader is perceived as an effective leader.
Empathy is also one of the core attitudes of successful relationship and good friendships. It spawns connections between people, bringing them together and helping to forge friendships and love. This is so because empathy helps us understand the viewpoints, needs, and intentions of others. It makes us feel as if someone cares for us on the other hand; without it, we would likely feel vulnerable and lonely.
“If bullies actually believe that somebody loves them and believes in them, they will love themselves, they will become better people, and many will even become saviours to the bullied.”
― Dan Pearce
Without empathy, your loved ones won’t feel understood, respected, cared for, or ultimately loved, so try, and start practicing today. If you don’t understand, it’s fine to say so and ask your partner or friend to try to express how they feel.
Benefits of Empathy
Failure to understand other people can lead to much suffering and negativity. Those of us that are empathetic will have a far more positive view of humanity and will be privileged to be in others peoples’ shoe and feel what they are feeling. However, the value of empathy comes not from understanding the other person's feelings, but what we do as a result of this. The more we can empathize, the more we can get immediate feedback on what they [others] are experience. And as a consequence, we can change the way we treat, handle and care for them to enable them to feel what we want them to feel.
A good thing to humanity is an empathy and there are numbers of study that shows its benefits. Being able to put ourselves in other’s shoe and to realise that they are just like us has far reaching benefits for both our emotional and physical wellbeing. Here we will mention a few of what empathy can do that is of benefit to us.
One of the benefit we derived from empathy is happiness. When we become empathetic, we will become happier because our reasoning, conversation, and actions that powered us will be more positive. The more we heal others, the more we heal ourselves. The more positive power we sow in others the more positive power we will receive and this positivity we turn the happiness in us on. This is the major reason the givers [why people who give to others] are the happiest people on earth. As we help each other we develop our own power to heal within and with that comes inner strength. This is the truth about life.
Another things that empathy does is trust building. Yes, empathy builds trust. Empathy displayed can be surprising and confusing. When not expected, it can initially cause suspicion; but when sustained, it is difficult not to appreciate the concern. Empathy thus quickly leads to trust. The more we empathize with the other party, the safer we feel on both side.
“When I get ready to talk to people, I spend two thirds of the time thinking what they want to hear and one third thinking about what I want to say.”
― Abraham Lincoln
Through empathy, we understand each other’s experiences and are more prone to help each other. It opens up the channels for good communication which is essential to forming and maintaining mutual support, a major factor of close bonding. The human ability to relate to another person’s feelings and to even act on it is what brings us together, spreads humanity and makes our world a much nicer place to live.
“I believe empathy is the most essential quality of civilization.”
― Roger Ebert
When we are talking about bring two or more people together, in a realm of being there for one another, empathy is an active agent. Yes, empathy connects people together. When we empathize with others, our sense of identity is connected to theirs. And as a result, we feel greater in some way and less alone. We may also start to empathize more with them. This feeling will develop a successful collaboration that will be of a formidable height. Without empathy, collaboration in any realms of life will just be a collection of people arguing their point of view.
Empathy in action may sustain cooperation in social dilemmas. As we know, Cooperation in social dilemmas is often challenged by negative noise, or unintended errors, such that the actual behaviour is less cooperative than intended. Our ability to offer empathy can allow us to stay vulnerable, defuse potential violence, help us hear the word 'no' without taking it as a rejection, revive lifeless conversation, and even hear the feelings and needs expressed through silence.
“Only by examining our personal biases can we truly grow as artists; only by cultivating empathy can we truly grow as people.”
― Jen Knox
We thus conclude that empathy has broad benefits for social interaction, in that it can be an effective tool for coping with misinterpreted behaviors, thereby maintaining or enhancing cooperation.
How to practice Empathy
We are all designed to naturally empathize with others at least to a certain extent. Our brains are wired to experience the emotions that someone else is feeling and this is the reason we wince when someone hits their hand with a hammer, or why we are more likely to laugh if someone else is laughing too.
“The great gift of human beings is that we have the power of empathy, we can all sense a mysterious connection to each other.”
― Meryl Streep
No matter what, we will encounter trying or uncomfortable social circumstances. At this, we should take a moment to empathize with the person involve and also remember that just like us, they have something that they’re dealing with, but they might be just a bit more overwhelmed by it. If we cannot comfort them, we should move on, but we should not allow their emotions to upset ours. Don’t let us take everything personally because most of the time, it’s not about us but what they are going through.
“No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care”
― Theodore Roosevelt
The first step toward understanding other people’s feelings is to understand our own. Practicing empathy starts with us and this is to focus on how we feel or might feel in various situations. This is not only essential in developing the ability to understand the feelings of others but also to provide a noteworthy reaction to their situation. If we were not sure how we would feel in those situations, then it might be difficult to imagine what another person would feel. We might struggle with empathy.
“When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.”
― Ernest Hemingway
The next step is to develop our listening skills. When it comes to empathy, we have to make an improvement to our listening skills so we will not only hear what people are saying, but also understand from their perspective. This involves constant practice, and by asking more questions we are creating a better lens through which to identify more closely what they are saying or feeling.
At times in real life scenario, we have to mute, listen and reason with others to understand it from there point of view. If we have been arguing with them, we need to hold it for a moment and try to listen out for two things. These are what they are feeling and what they need. We need to give them a chance to express those feelings and needs, and even reflect it back to them so they recognise that we understand them. It works to reduce the tension.
“Sometimes all a person wants is an empathetic ear; all he or she needs is to talk it out. Just offering a listening ear and an understanding heart for his or her suffering can be a big comfort.”
― Roy T. Bennett
If you’re arguing with your partner, neighbor or child, step back for a moment and try to listen out for two things: what the other person is feeling and what they need. Give them a chance to express those feelings and needs, and even reflect back what they’ve said so they recognise that you understand them. It works to reduce the tension.
“You never really understand another person until you consider things from his point of view – until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it” ― Harper Lee
A significant barrier to empathy is the stereotypes and prejudices we have about others, often due to snap judgements based on their appearance or accent and what we personally believe about them. Most of the time we are wrong about them with our snap judgment. Let us consider what would happens if others had no idea of what we are feeling in our inner mind; and when we say or do something, they judge us with what they feel in their inner mind which is parallel to ours. As we can see, it raises tension. This is what happened when misjudge others too.
“If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can't survive.”
― Brené Brown
A good prescription for empathic health is to have a conversation often with people we do know and at least once a week with a stranger and make it goes beyond superficial talk. The closer we are to others in their emotion the more we understand their perspective.
POINT TO REMEMBER:
Without empathy any coexistence of people would end in chaos, violence and anarchy. Every human being needs the ability, at least to a certain degree, to consolidate, have compassion, and be sympathetic to other people’s feelings and needs. After all, this is what distinguishes us from (most) wild animals.
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