Know Your Friends

All people we mingle and dwell with are not our friend. We may call them friends in our own heart but to some we mean nothing close to a friend to them. There are different levels of friendship which are never really obvious on the surface; it is only when you reach a crisis point in your life that you find out just who your true friends are.

Fake friends are a term used to describe fair-weather or selfish friends. Fake friends are those friends who deceive us and break our trust somewhere down the line. True friends are like diamonds (precious and rare), while fake friends are like autumn leaves found everywhere. A faithful friend is the medicine of life. Friends are rightly called an alter ego and they are perhaps those people with whom we can share our joys and sorrows. True friends will offer their unfailing support no matter what we try to do, even if they don’t agree with our choices they will still support us in them.

A real friend and fake friend can be hard to distinguish, but they are very different! Adversity is the litmus test of any friendship. A big difference between real and fake friends is how they deal with our ups and downs. If you’re feeling down, a fake friend will pat you awkwardly on the shoulder and try to change the subject. Our real friends will wrap us in their arms and listen to our blubber all night, if we want them to. They will always listen to our moan and rant and offer us a shoulder to cry on whenever we need it. Real friends are there for you, whether you’re happy or sad.

When the time comes that the partying and socialising has to come to an end and instead of sending out party invitations you are issuing requests for help and support, just see how many friends will answer the call. It is in tough times that you discover just who your true friends are, when you reach out for support during your darkest days and find that they are still there to support you. A fake friend is never really there for you. The hardest part about friendship is that it may start true and become fake as years go by. Or maybe someone first was pretending to be your friend and it grew into a real bond. It's not all black and white, but if someone is showing these signs, it's time for you to sit down and think about how true of a friend they are.

Real friends are people you can go to for anything. You know they will always be on your side, through thick and thin. Fake friends might as well be scum of the Earth for all the support they will give you. If you can trust anyone to not gossip around town about your dark little secrets, it’s your real friends. Fake friends will treat your secrets like it’s nothing sacred. They will never think twice to talk about your insecurities in public and embarrass you. They talk behind our back rather than talking face to face with us. In times of adversity, they desert others and leave them in a lurch. A real friend values our confidence, and will not tell anyone.

One should be careful while choosing friends and keep such fake friends at arm’s length. Joan Jett had once rightly remarked, “You got nothing to lose. You don't lose when you lose fake friends.” What's best for you is to say goodbye to the people you discover are fake friends, and keep close to those you know are true. It is always good to keep fake or fair-weather friends at arm’s length. Remember, a man is known by the company he keeps.

Smile Always

Smile is a form of our features into a pleased, kind, or amused expression, typically with the corners of the mouth turned up and the front teeth exposed. It is also an art of human science which derive from inner satisfaction of life. The subject which has no syllabus, no exams nor to learn, it is built in knowledge gifted by the nature [Almighty God] to us, all in all its inside us hidden like a soul.

Rule Over Envy.

Envy is defined as painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another along with the desire to possess that same advantage. It occurs when we lack a desired attribute enjoyed by another. Envy requires two parties, like you and that neighbour, when you want his/her new car and you wish you were the one riding around with the top down. You feel envy when you want something someone else has or posseses. Envy also need not always carry a negative connotation. Envy can be used to indicate a desire to equal another in achievement or excellence as in emulation. Note that emulation does not have any negative connotations to it.

Empathy is a Yes Attitude

Empathy is an attitude that defines humanity and according to the Wikipedia, it was define as the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing from within the other being's frame of reference, i.e., the capacity to place oneself in another's position. Empathy is seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another and feelings with the heart of another.

“Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.”
― Steve Martin

Time

Time as defined by wiki is the indefinite continued progression of existence and events that occur in apparently irreversible succession from the past through the present to the future. Time is a component quantity of various measurements used to sequence events, to compare the duration of events or the intervals between them, and to quantify rates of change of quantities in material reality or in the conscious experience.

Act Confidently

What Is Confidence? Confidence can be described as a belief in one's ability to succeed. Striking a healthy balance can be challenging. Too much of it and you can come off as cocky and stumble into unforeseen obstacles, but too little can prevent you from taking risks and seizing opportunities—in school, at work, in your social life, and beyond.

The idea that some of us were born with confidence and some of us were not is a total myth that robs you of a bit of hope. God didn’t dish out confidence at birth, giving bags full to Hollywood stars and leaving you with the scraps. While some people are naturally confidence, confidence can still be learned by the rest of us – including you.

To act more confidently, it’s a good idea to model your actions, behaviours and speech on those of someone you really admire. Pick a role model and watch their videos. Listen to how they talk, look out for their body language and how they compose themselves.

Modelling ourselves on someone else is a great way to improve what we’ve got. If someone else has the gift of confidence, there’s no reason why you can’t have it, too.

Grow Your Knowledge! One of the reasons we find conversations with new people daunting is because we’ve got very little to say – or at least think we have. Maybe the people we’re hanging around with have taken the conversation into territory that we’re a little unsure of, and so we shrink into our shell and wait until someone brings the topic back to the weather.

If you feel as though you have little to talk about in conversations besides the weather, Games of Thrones and Beyonce, building up your knowledge base is a good way to expand the scope of your topics. Read books, listen to podcasts and watch YouTube videos. Watch the news, keep abreast of current events.

Make Yourself Vulnerable! A lot of us are scared of making ourselves vulnerable because we’ve been conditioned to believe that vulnerability is a sign of weakness that exposes our faults to the world. In actual fact, vulnerability can be used as a strength.

When we make ourselves vulnerable to people, we tear off the shackle’s of shyness. We are able to have more open and honest conversation with people, and this in turn improves our relationships.

Vulnerability is a sign that you have real emotions and that you’re not afraid of them.

Observe How Others Act! I have this friend who is super confident. She absolutely amazes me with her confidence because, to look at her, you would not readily assume that she had so much esteem when it came to talking to any type of person.

When I felt nervous about talking to new people, I watched the way my friend did it. She literally didn’t care how others would perceive her. She was herself, and she was brilliant.

It’s important to watch how your friend’s interact with others, as well as how they are received by others. If you worry that you might get perceived badly, watch and learn!

Be Mindful Mindfulness is the practice of being aware of everything that is going on around you at the present moment.

If you’re eating, you’re aware of every chew you take. If you’re drinking, you’re aware of every swallow you take. And so on.

When you are in the present moment 100%, your social interactions improve. Rather than getting distracted by thoughts of “I can’t do this, I’m too shy,” you remain totally focused on the conversation and the people you are talking to. This will help you to improve your skills and grow in confidence. 

Ignore Your Inner Critic! We are often our worst critic, but while this is totally okay in many areas of life (because it pushes us to do better), it can be really damaging if we straight criticising ourselves mid-conversation.

Ignore your inner critic and just go with the flow. Be yourself.

Focus On Your Strengths! We all have strengths and weaknesses, but shy people tend to always focus on their weaknesses when they’re having a conversation with someone new. Perhaps you might focus on your wonky front tooth, or maybe you get distracted by a pretty insignificant spot on your cheek. It’s enough to distract you and prevent you from having a meaningful, exciting conversation.

It’s time to focus on your strengths. If being positive is a strength of yours, bring it to the conversation. If you have a nice smile, smile while you chat! If your biggest knowledge lies with music, direct the chat to music.

Identify your strengths and double down on them.

Love Yourself! Disliking yourself can certainly cause you embarrassment when you’re talking to someone new. Because you’re not so keen on yourself, it’s easy to assume that the other person will dislike you too.

It’s time to start loving yourself. Appreciate you for what you are. Write down everything you’re grateful for, as well as what you like about yourself. Make a note of your strengths and take some time getting to know who you really are. What are your values? What are your likes and dislikes? Take yourself on a date!

Probe the Other Person! When we’re shy, it can be really easy to focus on ourselves and our problems during a conversation. We listen to the other person going on a spiel, and we hope they’ll continue forever because we really don’t want to have to interject. We have nothing to say!

This kind of thinking will definitely kill a conversation, and eventually the other person will give up. For this reason, you should try shifting your focus from yourself onto them. Ask them questions about themselves, take an interest in them and work hard to probe them.

People like being asked questions, so don’t be afraid to dig deep.

Don’t Say That You’re Shy Why label yourself by telling people you’re shy? Why put yourself on the back burner straight away like that? Instead of openly admitting you’re shy, perhaps describe yourself as quirky, individual, or even a little bit eccentric.

Stay happy!

Be There

Most Often in life, nobody will be there for us and we have to be there for ourselves. Let’s power up our life with God and set the beam of our focus straight to the goal. Choose a mind set on the right hand side of x-axis (positive side of life) and be happy.